"None Of The Above - It Sucks - 03 - Running With Scissors" - Tony Mason (1994)
From the album "It Sucks"

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I was feeling uninterested in the side trails of the day
I was bored with the scope of human history
So I ripped off all my clothes, and I covered myself in band-aids
And I took a pair of scissors from the drawer

Running with scissors all around the house
Taking corners at high speeds, jumping hurdles over the couch
Running with scissors, a pair in both my hands
Don't know why it's called a pair, on the other hand I don't mind

La la la la la la la...

The cats seem fairly frightened of the spectacle in front of their eyes
Their tails waving nervously in the air
I snipped the scissors several times
Put a lampshade over my head
And I cut out some holes so I could see

Running with scissors all around the place
Wearing socks on a newly waxed floor, trying not to fall on my butt
Running with scissors, a pair in my left and right
Don't know why I do it, on the other hand I don't care

Doo doo doo doo doo doo, la la la la la la la la la la

Running with scissors when no one else is home
Cutting up the new blue curtains, snipping holes into the couch
Running with scissors a pair in each of my hands
Don't know why I do it, on the other hand I don't mind