"None Of The Above - Tomatoe Potatoe - Hamburger Buffet" - Tony Mason (1992)
From the album "Tomatoe Potatoe"

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(Bad parody of "Raspberry Beret" by Prince)

I was working next door to a salad bar 
with lots of carrots and greens 
Though I tried several times I just didn't like that kind 
The veggies never seemed very clean 

It seemed that I was simply eating something close to nothing 
But different than the plate 
before That's when I saw it Ooh, 
when I saw it I ran in through the indoor, indoor 

It was a hamburger buffet 
The kind you find in a tourist trap store 
Hamburger buffet 
And other than fries they didn't serve much more 
Hamburger buffet 
I think I'm hungry 

Built how you want, they had the nerve to ask me if I wanted any cheese on mine 
So look here, I threw it on the top of my bun Three big slices 
melting all over onto the plate 
You know tomatoes and cheese never turned me on 
But something about the way that they mixed 
It wasn't a pretty sight but I could tell you by the way it looked 
It was gonna make me belch 

Hamburger buffet 
The kind you find in a shopping mall 
Hamburger buffet 
The place you dashed to when your stomach calls 
Hamburger buffet 
I'm pretty hungry 

Beef tastes so good, especially when it's undercooked 
Any wonder why they make it cook at all 
The buns topped out with the sesame seeds 
And you walk away from the topping bar 
They say the first bite ain't the greatest 
But I tell ya, I had a chance to do it all again 
I wouldn't change a bit 
Wait, the lettuce doesn't fit 
But a burger made like this doesn't need it, no 

Hamburger buffet The kind that's open till 11 p.m. 
Hamburger buffet And breakfast is served till 11 a.m. 
Hamburger buffet I'm really hungry 
Hamburger buffet The kind you find with a million toppings 
Hamburger buffet And if it is closed, you break down the door 
Hamburger buffet I'm very hungry